Love and Demand
by Genkai-chan
Summary: Calleigh has quit the CSI team and has been urged to write about it. As she tells her story from the beginning about what love is like in the workplace, her feelings start to bud once more. DuCaine pairing. This is a frame story in progress, R&R please.
1. Chapter 1

( Authors Note: This is going to be a frame story…meaning there is a story within a story. Most parts will be Calleigh and her telling the reader about the book she wrote which are flashbacks that lead up to the present. The book's chapters will be labeled, if confused please suggest an easier why. breaks indicate when the novel is being told. )

Disclaimer: If I owned this show, I wouldn't have had Yelina, Marisol or Julia in it. Don't sue.

Love and Demand

_'It's not so easy to just sit back in the world after seeing its dark side. It really isn't. Oh well, it's something I am going to have to get used to.'_ She thought as she stared off.

Calleigh Duquesne was sitting in the local Starbucks with a hot cup of coffee. She was not longer "CSI Duquesne", but just her self. It had been a few long weeks since she left her lab of friends. Most of them were her friends at least. She placed the white porcelain cup to her lips just as she saw her father walk in; she set her cup down and waved him over, her usual perkiness shining through her fogged head.

"Hey there Cali." He smiled and sat in front of the blond.

"Hi dad." She returned the greeting with minimal words.

"You got me worried, lamb chop. Is there a reason you wanted to see me today?" He got to the point and watched his daughter. He knew of her departure from the lab, it came as a shock to him frankly. But of course any father would want to comfort their daughter in any time of need.

"No dad, it's just…" Well she just contradicted her self; she figured she might as well come out with it. "I miss the lab."

"I know you do." He replied, his tone gentle.

"I mean, maybe the people…maybe not but…." Her voice trailed off and she sat back in her seat, her thoughts defeating her. _'There's one person that's got me all mixed up.'_ She thought.

"Why don't you write it down? Writing can be very therapeutic." He rationalized as he watched her sip her coffee quietly.

"Thanks, I think I will try that." Cal nodded, she wasn't fond of writing but she figured there couldn't be too much harm in trying something new. That weekend Cali was sitting at her desk at home, pen tapping against her lips. 'I have no idea where to even start.' She thought and closed her eyes. Little did she know, she would put her writing together to make a successful autobiography.

* * *

Of Love and Demand

By Calleigh Duquesne.

Introduction:

I blame his sunglasses, I really do. Though that is for another part, I'll introduce me self as Calleigh Duquesne current resident of Miami, Florida and formed CSI of the Miami-Dade Crime Lab. Some people may have seen me on television but I really don't look into those things. I try not to care about what others think, I like to go by the book and I'm not as innocent as I look. My father advised me to write and here I go. Though before I tell my story, I'd like to say that I confused on how I feel. So forgive me for confusing you.

* * *

Cali looked to her small paragraph and groan, leaning back in her chair; she was cleared unsatisfied with it already. 'I can't do this. I don't know where to start!' Calleigh thought and shut her eyes tightly. She got up and looked around her study, she didn't have anything else to do so she just decided to make a call to her old co-worker, Natalia. Al she got was the answering machine. "Hi Nat, this is Cali…just calling to see how you are and wondering if we could talk. I'll try back later, bye." She hung up and sat back at the desk, her hands resting on her legs. "Guess I should just get back to writing…." She sighed, pen back in hand,.

( Sorry this is all I'm writing for now. The plotline is DuCain, but Cali is slowly retelling how everything between her and H happened why she quit and what it has to do with H. Reviews and input are greatly appreciated. This is my first time writing a longer CSI: Miami fanfic and the first time trying a frame story. Other frame stories are The History of Love and also The Canterbury Tales. )


	2. Chapter 2

( A/n: Thank you guys so much for the support. And instead of replying to them, I will go the old fashioned way and thank you here if that's alright with you guys. )

**D-B-L:** Thank you, I want to see where I go too. ^^

**Elislin:** Thank you very much. I hope you like it.

**Delynns:** Oh yes, I mean it's now rare to see them together which can work for angsty fics but it's just depressing to see H with other women who can't compare to Calleigh.

( A/n: Now the novel Cali will be writing to tell the story will be from the beginning of when they meet and will progress from there. Just to clarify. ^^ )

Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.

Love and Demand

* * *

Chapter One:

August 14'th, 2001 is when I started looking for work. I finished my college degree in Louisiana and was looking for something to do with my self. A man soon contacted me from Miami, Florida about needing a position filled. He told me that he heard that I was good with firearms and asked me to apply. Being the eternal optimist that I was, I applied, rather curious to start a new life in Miami. I was soon hired and went down to live there, my father followed me.

On August 28'th, I stepped through the lab entrance doors and took a look around. Everything was so clean, modern and stylish. I would soon be meeting the lab's current CSI and other workers. I was first introduced to Timothy Speedle and then to another man named Eric Delko. It was nice to meet others who were passionate about helping people in the field of criminology. I then met the Medical Examiner that I would most likely to be working with, she was Dr. Alexx Woods, something about her seemed so nice and motherly. It made me envious that my own mother wasn't like her.

I was getting my self situated when a knock came at my door. I turned around and that's when my world changed. It's cliché I know, but it's true. There stood a red-haired man, probably Irish, with a pair of black slim shades in hand. "Are you Ms. Duquesne?" The man asked me, head tilting ever so delicately to me. I licked my lips unconsciously and nodded. He stepped forward and set his sunglasses on the nearest lab table and smiled. "I'm Horatio Caine, it's nice to be working with someone who is from out of the state. I'm originally from New York my self." He said to me. I walked over but still gave us some distance.

"Wow, you must be used to these big cities and the city life in general." I just laughed with a wide smile on my face, in the south we were always taught to be hospitable and warm. I was trying my best to make a good first impression.

"I guess you could say that, well we can get to know each other more some other time, if you'll excuse me, I have to go." Horatio said as he picked up those shades that I would soon learn were his trademark and exited.

I thought at the time of our first encounter, that he was very nice and not to mention nice looking. Also at the time, I wasn't interested in any relationship and after just moving to someplace new, I didn't think it would be wise to get tangled in anything like that.

* * *

Suddenly Cali's cell phone rang, it was Natalia. She answered it. "Hey Nat."

"Hey, just wondering if you're okay, you sounded weird on the message you left." She said.

"Oh….well I was just thinking of talking to someone." She said and brushed some hair behind her ear as she looked at her page of writing. "How are you?"

"I'm okay, work's got me busy you know…but how are you, did you find a job?" She asked in return, though Natalia was aware that she had to be very delicate about the things they talked about.

"Oh, I'm still looking…" She said slowly and looked around. "I'm writing a book." Cali said suddenly.

"A book? Why?" Nat asked.

"My father suggested I get my feelings out by writing them…and it is cheaper then therapy." Calleigh responded as she tapped her pen against her soft lips, thinking.

"Oh well...we have to get together sometime, I'm free this weekend on Saturday."

"Okay I'll call you then." Cali said and they said their goodbye and hung up. Cali looked back at her work and continued again.

* * *

The next few months going into the middle of autumn were alright, I was just getting used to the day to day life of Miami and the Crime Lab. I was becoming friends with everyone but someone kept sticking to the back of my mind. Horatio Caine and I had been working on many cases together and soon Megan Donner left for a while and it was just me and Horatio working together. I must say he was a fascinating man to talk to and observe at the time.

( I know it's not much but here is some more, tell me what you think. Next part will have them conversing more talking about things. R and R please. :3 Also, if anyone RP's tell me. )


	3. Chapter 3

( A/n: Thanks again you guys, I'm going to try and write more and more each chapter. I'm just getting back into writing full chapters so bare with me. Also I've outlined the chapters and the novel's chapters and am adding some new scenes. ^ ^ )

**LA Cal:** Thanks, also glad to see you like my other CSIM works.

**Elislin:** Thank you. ^^

**D-B-L:** Thank you; I'm not sure how often I should post chapters. I'll just feel it out.

**CSIMiamiLover:** Thanks for reviewing, hope you like it.

( A/n: Now on with the story as they say. )

Disclaimer: Not time….don't sue….be happy.

Love and Demand

Cali was just finishing dinner that night as she looked back to her first chapter, she decided if she was going to play along with this writing thing, that she would just do bits at a time. As she sat back at her desk she decided that her second piece would be about some cases that she had with Horatio. That name was rather a curse to her. He was the reason she quit and she could never forgive him.

* * *

Chapter Two:

One the first cases that stood out to me was when a sniper was shooting people in downtown Miami. I knew the general nature of snipers because I dated one a while back, so I tried to help Horatio as best I could. I didn't notice it back then but I guess I was flirting with him that day.

It was a long day. In the morning Horatio and I went to the roof where the sniper was and I ended up making a cute comment about having hot flashes when it came to a man and rifle. I couldn't help it, I'm not sure why. Then later that day Horatio and I went to a place near a small airport where the suspect sniper practiced, it was nice getting to work with someone who was more experienced then I was. I felt like I could really learn a lot from him.

Then as the day was ending I took the initiative to catch the sniper while Horatio went down to the plaza to inform people and help then evacuate the area. My mind hadn't really been on anything much that day, though I could feel his eyes on me from time to time. And as I walked down with a 'mission accomplished' look on my face he said, "Ever consider a transfer to SWAT?" I smiled, not really thinking about it.

"I don't look good in all black." I hummed to the red-head and then did notice how he was looking at my smaller form that was indeed, in all black. How funny.

"I beg to differ." Horatio muttered while I walked past him to give the equipment back, it seems we were now going to start a game of our own. I did enjoy playing them but I knew it would have to be a careful game if anything. He was no one my mind a bit more then any normal person at the lab. Horatio Caine was interesting to say the least and to know that he thought I looked good in all black…well…it was flattering.

Anyway, onto another case that I found cute…

There was this Russian immigrant who worked at a local zoo who got stabbed to death at a peep show. When Horatio and I were working on the case it seemed we were alone most of the time. For some reason when I was around him then, it felt this feeling. I guess back then I tried not to think of it. When we were in a house boat looking at some scandalous things, somehow I felt him staring at me again. I didn't think they were that perverted but it was a bit weird to have someone looking at you when you were talking about the sexual encounters of some people. Though I think Eric was watching me too. It's just hard to be one of the few girls on the team I think. I cut them some slack and didn't say anything.

* * *

Cali suddenly looked up and saw it was time for bed. She sighed. 'Wow…time went by fast.' She thought and got up and got ready for bed.

The next day came and she noticed she had left some things at her lab, she could assume that they would be mailed to her but wanted them now. So she got her cell phone ready and dialed Eric's number. "Eric? Hi, it's Calleigh." She smiled, glad he picked up.

"Listen Cali, I'm on a—"

"A case. I know." Cali cut him off. She knew the drill. "Listen Eric, can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?" He asked as he set down some folder, in the lab. He looked around and saw Horatio walk past in the halls.

"Can you get me the rest of my stuff in my lab? I managed to empty my locker when I stormed out but nothing from my actual lab." Cali explained. She would of course explain all that in her writing eventually.

"Uh sure I can get it to you at lunch." He said and would be sure to be careful about it. He knew that everyone was sensitive around the area when it came to Calleigh and Horatio.

"Thanks so much Eric." She smiled, really grateful.

"Don't worry; you're like a sister to me." He said. And it was true; they only saw each other as a brother-sister relationship now. A lot had happened in the past but Eric knew everything was in the past for a reason. "I'll see you later." He said.

"Okay, bye." She said and hung up. Cali then got up and decided to take a walk and then she would come back and continue on with her musings about how the past went and how it came to be the present. She didn't even want to think about the future when she was a mess right now.

Getting up, she walked out of her house and started to jog down the sidewalk, she enjoyed running. It helped her relax and stay fit. 'Though I need to start looking for a job…lord knows I can't ask the lab for help on that.' She thought with a slight frown but it quickly changed into a bright smile as she moved past an elderly couple. That made her think once again, about Horatio. 'Argh, enough about Horatio!' She told her self while moving a bit faster. The warm sun was helping her heal, but she knew it wasn't enough. All she had to keep telling her self was 'just keep running'.

Before she knew it, her cell phone rang and it was Eric. "Yeah?" She answered as she tried to catch her breath. It seems she had been running for so long it was now noon.

"I'm at your house, where are you?" He asked, puzzled.

"Sorry Eric I went out for a jog to clear my mind…I'll be right there…" She then paused and looked at where she was and then reconsidered. "Um…"

"How about I find you and take you home?" He asked, amusement in his voice now.

"That would be great…" Cali sighed, finally done panting. "I'm right by Telegraph and James Streets." She told him and hung up. 'Jeez, I didn't think I went this far.' She thought and looked around while she waited, hands on her hips. Though it was more of an observant stance then an impatient one. Soon Cali saw Eric's company Hummer pull over by the sidewalk and she got in. "Thanks again for all this trouble." She said once again to Eric.

"And like I said, it's no problem." He said as he started up towards her house. Cali sat back, glad to have the AC on her now. "So how are you doing?" He asked, glancing to the blond as he drove slowly.

"I'm fine." She said, though she tried not to let her annoyance show. 'People keep talking to me like I'm some sort of mentally unbalanced person.' She thought and bit her lip. 'Then again I know everyone is worried about me…'

"Alright." He replied as he parked and got out and they both took her stuff up and set it down on the table as soon as she opened her door. 'I hope she is alright.' He thought and looked down, a bit hesitant on leaving so soon. "Natalia mentioned something about you writing. That's good." He said.

"Oh, yeah thanks." She said as she looked over the things she now had. "I guess you should get back to the case huh?"

"Yeah listen, call me anytime you want." He said to her, though he took the hint that he should go.

"Will do." She hummed and looked to him, about to say something but stopped her self.

"Something on your mind?" Eric asked her and bit her lip. 'Damn, that was a stupid question.' He thought.

"How is he?" She asked slowly, he was referring to Horatio of course.

"He is…uh…he's alright." He felt bad to say that H was just putting up a mask and not showing how sad he must be. Eric was hoping H was upset anyway.

"I see…is she helping him?" Cali asked, an unusual tone when she said 'she'.

"Yelina….yeah she is helping him a bit." He said, Cali might as well know.

"I see." She said, the hurt hitting her once more. Her happiness couldn't even shine through this time. "Well…I'll talk to you later Eric."

"Cali…" He started to see his friend so hurt was a pain for him. "I…I'll see you soon okay?" He smiled to her.

"Okay…"

"And…Natalia says you're writing a book or something, that's a good way to get things out." He said, supporting the idea.

"Yeah a lot of people think that." She then decided she could write about how annoying Yelina was to her. "Thanks for helping me out, it was nice to see you." It may have been only about a week since she saw him but it was always nice to see the people who supported you. She soon saw Eric out and closed the door "What a day…" She sighed, and it was only lunch time.

Sitting down with a sandwich, Cal looked at her papers and started to get back to where she left off.

* * *

The case was rather kinky, but I didn't feel any awkwardness between Horatio. I learned that the job came before anything. But enough about that case, there was one woman that kept getting close to him and I never understood why. No one didn't bother to tell me right away and I understand that.

Her name is Yelina Salas and she and Horatio had a past. I never knew but I could tell. I guess it seems like I might have been jealous over her. I guess Horatio was always so much more open with her and not me. And somehow I thought that if I made a comment about such a thing, it would be considered unprofessional.

I also find it funny that Yelina looks a bit like Marisol if you squint, but I'll get into that later on. Yelina was always so quite and soft, but it seemed like she could pack a punch when needed. I'm not saying I like her, because I don't. I'm just saying my envy of her goes only so far. I can't really hold her responsible for how you used to feel. But maybe you are starting to feel for her again since I'm gone.

I really don't know, but whatever is going on, the pain is going away like I thought it would.

* * *

( A/n: I hope this wasn't too out of character for her but I promise things will make sense as we go along, she's going to work her way through events with Marisol, Julia, Eric, etc. So I hope you guys liked this chapter and please review, it keeps me motivated. )


	4. Chapter 4

( A/n: Thanks guys. I see some people are adding me to alerts but not reviewing, this might seem like I'm complaining but please review if you do like it, the more reviews I get: the longer the chapters might be and sooner I'll want to post. So it makes all the difference in my motivation. I just want to know more then like three people like what I'm doing, or I can just stop. )

**LA Cal:** Thank you very much.

**CSIMiamiLuver:** Actually one of your ideas is already something I plan on doing so sit back and wait. ^^ Glad you like it thus far.

Disclaimer: See chapter one…thanks.

Love and Demand

Saturday soon came and Cali was getting ready to go meet Natalia for lunch at Mike's Delicatessen. She had on a black button down top and simple white jeans. Cali pulled her hair back and was driving down the street. 'I miss the team.' She thought, nostalgia fading in and out.

Arriving at her destination, she found close parking and got out. She saw her friend waiting outside with water. "Hey." Nat smiled and Cali sat by her. "Nice to see you."

"You look great." Cali said and set her purse down by her feet. 'Better then me.'

"You too." Natalia said and sighed a bit and let her hands play with the straw in her water glass.

"Thanks. So what's good on the menu here?" She asked, her mind trying its hardest not to start wishing for the way things were.

"Well I like the spinach and strawberry balsamic salad." Natalia replied and reached to hand Cali a small menu.

"Hmm I'm not too hungry actually…why don't we share something?" Cali suggested and smiled a bit, though it was something she had to remind her self to do lately, usually it just came.

"Sure." Nat said, wanting to be agreeable and she didn't mind sharing. "How's the writing going?" She asked.

"Actually…it's not so bad…I'm writing about a few things…I guess in chronological order." Cali said.

"Is it helping?"

"Well…" She paused to think. "I don't know yet." Cali replied honestly. 'I mean…it hurts to think about, but it's also nice to get it out on paper.' She thought. They soon just went back to neutral topics about the weather changing into winter. Though there was hardly a change in it. They soon departed and Cali was heading home, 'A month since I left and Horatio is already moving on.' She thought. 'Though I guess he has nothing to move on from then.' She thought, rather hurt. Eric's words kept pericing her.

She got home and sat down at her desk, her mind telling her to let more out. So Cali grabbed a pen and started again.

( A/n: Right now, her writing isn't titled in chapters but I'm putting them there now to make them more clear to everyone about her thought in writing. This next section of her writing might seem a bit uncharacteristic but she is venting a little. )

* * *

Chapter Three

Enough about the old bat, Yelina! I'd like to talk about me and Horatio and show everyone how we used to be. I think it's stupid that things went so downhill over time. When my feelings came out, it was when we were alone. And not alone at work, I mean alone outside of work.

It had been a long day and Horatio had finished a case where an autistic man helped with a case but ended up dying because the murderer beat him to death. It was a very sad and heartbreaking case. I admired Horatio for being so fatherly to him, I guess that would make any lady swoon. Anyway, we were starting to leave, I guess not together but at the same time. And he turned and suggested we go get a drink, I agreed and hoped he just meant me and him.

He did.

I took my car and met him at the South Blue Bar and got out. I saw he beat me and I smiled a bit. As I walked in he waved me over and handed me a menu. "Long day." Horatio said, finally looking as tired as he sounded.

"I know, I'm really sorry to hear about Eugene." I say as I just order a beer for my self. It is always a shame to see someone die who didn't deserve it. Then again, no one did.

"So am I." He said to me as he leaned forward and his eyes locked on mine. I hold my breath and try to keep eye contact. I wasn't sure why he was looking at me, or what his eye were even trying to say, it was like for the first time…we saw each other.

"Horatio…" I said softly and reached for his hand. "You did everything you could…"

"Sometimes I think I could have done just a little bit more." He told me and managed a weak hearted smile. My heart went out to him, after so many years of working in the justice system, it still affected him this much.

"I know." I didn't know what to say though and just kept my hand on top of his and used my other one to drink my cold beverage.

* * *

Cali looked around and saw she'd been taking a longer time to write then usual. 'I guess this part is still hard.' She thought and got up. Starting to pace, she held her cell phone in her hand. She then dialed her father's number. "Hello? Daddy, it's me. Yeah." She paused. "Yeah I just wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner." She suggested. Her father agreed and she hung up and went to seeing what she could make for dinner.

That night, after some homemade country fried steak and mashed potatoes, her father stood up to go. "Say lambchop, how about you and I go out for a drink?" He suggested. "I promise I won't order any alcohol."

"Then why go out?" She asked, always worried about her fathers drinking problem.

"Maybe you need a drink; you've had a rough month." He said. And it was true, she glanced off.

"Alright, but we aren't staying out late, I have an interview tomorrow and I want to be tip top shape." Cali smiled as she got her keys and moved to take her own car. She didn't have the hummer, so she was using her black Camry (I don't know what car she had in the episode where she got held at gunpoint.). "Come on dad." She said as she got in the car and waited. He got in with her and she started to drive, "Where do you want to go?" She asked.

"Up to you." He smiled as she just drove to the nearest bar. She parked and got out and groaned lightly. "Something wrong?" He asked.

"No…no…I…yeah…this is where Horatio and I used to drink at after work." She admitted, 'Why would I go here?' She wondered, but was sure she was just lying to her self. She walked in and kept her head down as she sat at the bar with her father. She just hoped she didn't run into him. She ordered some juice for her father and just a gin and tonic for her self. They chatted some, but Calleigh was still a bit apprehensive.

Soon she had dropped her father off at his home, and she was now heading home her self. 'What a night…but going to the South Blue Bar can't be a coincidence can it?' She wondered as she started to park in front of her driveway but ended up driving into the garage door a bit. "Shit…" She breathed out and backed up, seeing she had dinged her door up a bit. She got out and rubbed her head. 'I didn't drink that much…where is my head?' She thought wildly and went up and walked into her house.

As she laid in bed, snug and warm, she pulled her notebook to her lap to read what she had written so far. 'Not bad. But I have more to say.' She thought as she started to write it out.

* * *

It's not really crazy to think that he liked me. I mean when I started going out with John Hagen he kept his eye on John. I guess I wanted to think that Horatio was jealous and in the end no matter what you won't really know the truth. When Hagen and I worked on a case, Horatio's eyes always seemed to follow us. At first I just assumed that it was because he was no officially in chare of us at the lab, but it seemed more personal. When John and I went out to the South Blue Bar once, Horatio ran into us.

"Hey there Calleigh." He said as John and I were sitting and chatting. And as I looked up, I could tell he had some hurt in his blue eyes. Maybe Horatio was hurt that I was with John at a place that I went with him too.

"Hi Horatio." I replied, noticing how Horatio didn't greet John. I wasn't sure what to say.

"I'll just see you later." Horatio said and turned to go. I glanced down and John put his arm around me. But now I didn't want Horatio to go.

"Would you like to sit with us?" I blurted out and tried to get John's arm off of me. He turned back to us and I smiled hopeful.

"Alright." Horatio replied and sat in front of us, and order a beer. "How are cases going?" He asked John.

"Fine." John said and it dawned on me, Horatio and John were competing for me. I then shook that idea out of my head; it was so stupid to think like that. As flattering as it would be, I was sure Horatio was just being…overly polite.

"Good." He said and sat back. "You know Calleigh and I come here a lot too." He added and glanced to me. I wasn't sure what to say or do, I knew John was upset that I had suddenly invited my boss to drink with us and I knew Horatio didn't like John too much.

"Oh, well I guess she's with me now." John said, and I wasn't sure what he meant by that as I looked down and kept quiet. The awkward night was over, for the most part and I was walking out with John, holding my purse. "How could you do that Cali?" He asked as he pulled my over by the side of the building. His hand was gripping my arm a bit tightly as I glared.

"Do what?" I asked, trying to get my arm away from him.

"You know what." He snapped and I flinched, smelling the beer on his breath. There was a sudden clearing of a throat and John's neck jerked around to see who it was. It was my hero. Well at the time I thought he was my hero. Horatio walked over and unfolded his arms.

"Get away from her Detective." Horatio said and watched. John let go of my arm which was starting to bruise. John then glanced around and stepped back. "Calleigh?" Horatio said my name softly and I looked to him while holding my aching arm. "Did he do anything else to you?"

"No Horatio." I said, relived.

"Good, let me take you home." He said as he led me to his car, and would just let John take his car home alone now. Horatio helped me in and I put on my seat belt. He then started for my home, without a word. I wasn't sure what to say, I knew I needed to thank him though. "Has he been violent with you before?" He asked, I looked to him.

"No…" I told him, but it was a lie. He just nodded, probably aware that trying to interrogate me wouldn't work out. As he pulled up to my house and got out to let me out on my side, I closed my eyes. Someday maybe, I thought, someday he wouldn't just drop me off. Someday he would stay the night. Maybe that was a girlish hope of mine.

"Cali." He smiled to me, my door open already. I got out and sighed. "I know you can do better then that." He spoke softly to me as he leaned over me to close the door. I watched him, feeling guilty that he had to come to my rescue. Though I guess the way I was raised, I had an excuse for feeling a bit nervous now. It was cute, the way he was there.

"Thank you." I could only say and walked up to my door, I didn't want to look back, it might ruin my own personal moment.

* * *

"It's a shame those moments are bittersweet." Cali muttered as she looked up from her writing and wiped her eyes. She set her things on the bedside table and reached over and turned her light out. She had to get her rest after all.

( A/n: Please review. It keeps me going and makes my day. And check out my other one shots. )


	5. Chapter 5

( A/n: Thanks so much for reviewing more you guys, it makes me day! *goes off into an emotional speech* Anyway there are more chapters to come and another longterm DuCaine fic is out entitled, My Love for you is a Journey. So check it out sometime please as well as my drabbles and one shots. Thank you so much. )

**Daxy:** Thank you thank you. I struggled with the beginning but as another person reviewed, I kept going. And now I'm onto chapter number five.

**LA Cali:** Of course my dear. ^ ^

**Elislin:** Hagen always seemed like a creep to me. He's not that great of a guy.

**CSIMiamiLuver:** Well that is a secret. Thanks for the review!

**TenFour:** Thanks, I hope I'm not confusing you.

**Delynns:** That was very well put. And who knows what H will do to screw it up. Hmm. *all knowing*

**Celkin:** Yes, H is a great hero. I liked him more in the older seasons. But wait and see folks.

Disclaimer: I do not own. Bleh. I kinda wish I did though. XD

Love and Demand

The morning arose and Calleigh was ready to tackle a new day. She had gotten dressed in a tan suit and pulled her hair back; she now looked like she did when she fist started working at the crime lab. 'I guess it's now or never.' She thought and got in her car, she was heading for a law firm in Palm Beach County. She wanted to go someplace where she didn't know anyone. She hoped a new change would do her some good. Calleigh arrived and got out, she looked around and sighed. 'Maybe I won't have to worry about writing for a while once I get a job.' She thought and checked her self in and waited for her name to be called.

"Calleigh?" Someone called, she looked up and was surprised to see Jake.

"Jake? What are you doing here?" She asked and stood up to see him.

"Well I'm doing something for a friend here…what about you? You look nice." He smiled.

"No, I don't. I look horrible." She said. "And I'm here for an interview." She explained. 'This takes me back to our days of being together.'

"Well I'm sure you'll do great. But you have a job at the crime lab, why do need another?"

"Oh…I quit that one." Cali said. "So I'm trying to find another." She said. Luckily it seemed like Jake knew it was a sore spot for her.

"Alright. I'll see you later then, and smile Calleigh, it's contagious." He said and walked out and Calleigh sat back down, a bit later she was called in.

"You have a long history with the Miami Dade Crime Lab." The male said as Cali sat down. "Why did you leave?"

"It was a conflict of interest….I guess." She replied, annoyed that she had to say it again and again. Once was enough in her mind. The interviewer gave her a puzzled look. "Okay…really? I fell in love with the wrong person and it ended up being a waste of time…so much so that every time I saw him it hurt." She said. "For the sake of everything, I had to quit, it does not reflect my work or intelligence what so ever." She assured him.

"I see." He nodded and decided to move on, but was impressed with her honesty. "So what got you interested in this side of the law?"

"My father is a lawyer and when I worked at the crime lab we had to deal with D.A's and other officials. Anything I can do to help…is what I want to strive for." She answered. Other questions were asked and soon it was over.

"There is one last thing Ms. Duquesne, may we get a letter of recommendation?" He asked as she stood to go and froze. "We'd prefer it be from the head of the lab." Cali's heart sank.

"I…the person I was involved with…was the head of the lab, sir. I don't think I can ask for such a thing."

"Well this is just something professional, I don't see why he cannot just write one?"

"No no I really can't…" Cali said, her heart aching at the mere thought of asking Horatio to help her. No after how they parted. "I'm sorry."

"So am I." He said and looked to her. Calleigh bit her lip, trying to think of another way.

"I'll find another way to do this and I'll get it to you soon, is that alright?" She asked, hopeful. 'Leave it Horatio to stop me from getting a new job!' She thought bitterly.

"We'll see. Thank you."

"Thank you very much." She smiled and shook his hand and walked out. Calleigh let out a deep breath and started for her car, it was the afternoon and she was quite hungry. Making her way to the drive thru of McDonalds, she checked her phone. No new message or voicemail from anyone. 'Come to think of it, I feel more isolated after leaving the lab.' She thought as she started to dig for her wallet in her purse. After getting her food, she reached home and walked in. She ate her food, took a shower and sat at her desk. 'Even with my interview, my mind has been buzzing all day. I need to write.' She thought, seeing how it was actually something good, something she needed to do.

* * *

Chapter Four

Whether I want to admit it or not, Horatio has always been my white knight. Okay not always. But he has been there for me, and I him. One of the times that stands out to me is when our dear friend Tim Speedle passed away in the line of duty.

I remember it all so well, Eric, him and I were all talking about how Speed kept taking things out of my kit. Sometimes Speed annoys me so much, I guess that's what I get for not having any male siblings. So the case seemed so regular but when Horatio and Eric went to a jewelry store, things got ugly. Speed's gun malfunctioned and he got hit. Horatio was with him the whole time so I know Speed was taken care of in his last few moments.

As soon as I was notified, I felt like a bus had hit me head on. I would take care of the processing my self and I knew everyone wanted it to be someone else's fault. Unfortunately it was Speed's fault. I wasn't sure how to handle a death of a friend who I worked with. Eric acted like he was fine but I knew they were close. My heart went out to them, they were like brothers.

As for Horatio, I know he tried to just move on and respect the time Speed had on this earth. I had John to help me cope sometimes, but I just wanted to keep pushing through. At the end of the long day, I was in the locker room. I still don't know why it was co-ed. But that's not important.

Horatio came in and I offered to help him with Speed's things, the death of a friend was an emotional loss for everyone. And it also reminded us how real our job was and how we're not so different from everyone else we see when we work. Horatio declined my offer and I nodded.

I turned to go, wondering if I could drive home safely. He stopped me and I turned to see what he wanted. "Come here." He whispered and I moved towards him and he wrapped his arms around me. I held him close and he whispered to me, "You hang in there." I honestly feel bad for thinking this, but I wished this embrace was about something else. Not death. I inhaled his scent and smiled softly, feeling the hot tears and my eyes start to form.

"You too Horatio." I said and closed my eyes as we held each other, my heart pressing against his chest. I felt so bad for enjoying the embrace, so I pulled away. "I…I should go." I said and looked down.

"I'll see you tomorrow Calleigh." He said and I turned and left.

It was a hard year for me. Ryan Wolfe joined the team and I guess I was a bit hard on him, I didn't need someone replacing Speed but Ryan was very good at the job. And he told me that when John came back to work, that leaving due to a bad back meant that John couldn't pass the psychology test.

I guess it didn't surprise me too much that he was a bit mentally unstable. One time I came into work and decided to lay low. Horatio found me working in my lab with an ice pack. "Calleigh, what happened?" He asked.

"Oh I just hit my head against a book case." I said and started to go back to my paperwork.

"Calleigh, I know that's not the truth." He said in a soft tone.

"It is…okay?" I said and gulped as John walked in and H turned to face him.

"Detective, if you lay a hand on here I will have you arrested." Horatio said fimly.

"Don't you need evidence to do that?" John asked and left, Horatio glanced to me and I looked away.

So John wasn't the nicest man in my life. But he died a little over a year Speed did. And it hurt me. I was working on a dangerous case, and H was a bit busy with his own. I was alone and I felt the barrel of a gun press to my head, and I had no idea who did it. No one else noticed so I guessed I was imagining it.

Later as I was alone with John in the lab, we started talking about the case and other personal things. Things evolved and I realized that he took evidence from the case I was working on. As I took it and bid farewell to him, I heard the all too familiar sound of a gun being cocked and I slowly turned, I knew it now.

He was the one who almost shot me. As I watched her pulled the trigged to hi temple and shot him self. There was nothing I could do. There was blood everywhere. I felt my les give out as I stumbled against the open door of my lab. I heard footsteps coming towards my location. "Calleigh?" Eric called and cussed under his breath when he saw what had happened. He then turn and ran off to get Alexx and Horatio. I think.

* * *

Sighing deeply, Cali closed her eyes and sat still for a while, taking in the memories she was reliving. 'Why am I even writing about this?' She wondered and got up, but found her legs felt too heavy to move so she just fell on the bed and laid there. "I don't know." She muttered and closed her eyes. She looked to her phone and saw Jake's number in her contacts. Cali dialed his number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jake…"

"How did the interview go?" He asked.

"Okay. I need a letter of recommendation from Horatio so I don't know what to do." She explained.

"Why can't you ask him?"

"Things are complicated." She said.

"Do you think I could ask him for it?" Jake offered.

"No, don't." She said quickly. 'I don't need him getting involved.' She thought. "So undercover going okay for you?"

"A bit…it's rough." Jake sighed and rubbed his neck even if it wasn't able to be seen.

"I see…well I'm writing a lot nowadays and I was taking a break so I called to see how things were."

"Yeah it's nice to hear from you."

"No hard feelings?"

"No never." Jake said softly.

"I wish you were as forgiving as Horatio was."

"Don't write him off just yet Calleigh." Jake said to Cali.

"We'll see…"

"I gotta go, I'll call you later."

"Okay bye." She said and hung up, not too sure how the call really went. 'The story with me and Jake is something that will have to wait.' She thought and went to get some water; summer was getting close so the heat was peaking. Calleigh sat with some ice water; it had been about two months since she left the lab now. It still hurt. Cali started to write again, hoping to finish her lunch as soon as she got the rest of her thoughts out.

* * *

Horatio tried to help me. Well he did. About a week after John killed him self, I was getting ready to go when Horatio came by to see me. "Hey Calleigh."

"Hi." I smiled as I packed up to go home.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure." I said with a smile and followed him out and to the lounge. "What's up?" I asked softly.

"Well how are you doing?" He asked as we sat down on the couch, most people were home and night shift wasn't going to come in for a little while.

"I'm managing." I said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" And I had a feeling he was talking about John's incident.

"Well...John's death just made me think about Speed…and…" I glanced off. "It's hard to cope sometimes."

"That's understandable, we're not meant to just brush off the loss of people we care about." He said to me.

"I know…I mean in all honesty, I wasn't so close to them…Speed is like a brother and John he…"

"He abused you didn't he?" He asked something I really hoped to never bring up.

"He just got upset a lot…about things. It only happened once." I said, being weak wasn't something I wanted to be seen as.

"Was it because of me?" He asked. "I know it might seem weird."

"Yes…" I said and gulped, I just didn't want him to blame him self but it was better to be open and honest then hide everything.

"I'm sorry."

"What's done is done." I shrugged and looked around for a moment.

"No, you don't deserve that Calleigh."

"Well he didn't deserve to die either. Nor speed." I defended.

"I'm not saying they did." He said and moved to take my hand. "But you seem to keep forgetting that when it comes down to it…you're more important then them."

"Why?" I asked, my heart beginning to race at the thought of new feelings emitting from him.

"You just are." Horatio said, not the answer I wanted but I knew he wouldn't be straight with me.

"Thanks…I'm sure at one point I loved John. In some way." I said and stood up and he did as well.

"I'm sure you did, you have a lot of love to give. I wish you'd found the right person who can treat you right." He said as we walked out into the Miami night. "Goodnight Cali." He said and looked down to me and smiled, I wished he'd kiss me. But he didn't. We just parted ways and I went home, feeling much better.

* * *

Standing up, satisfied with her self, she went to finish the rest of her meal and head to bed. 'I should go for another jog.' She thought and looked at her self in the mirror. She then sat on the bed and had a mental recap of the day. It wasn't that bad.

( A/n: Thank you all so much again for the support. It means a lot to me. I'm so worried about things, it helps to write and distract my self while knowing people enjoy my work. You guys are the best so keep it up! Thank you! ^ ^ )


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

( A/n: Hey guys. It's always good to get reviews so thank you to everyone who did and for those who didn't…you should feel guilty. )

**LA Cal:** I don't think it's so simple.

**CSIMiamiLuver:** Thank you thank you thank you. XD

**Celkin:** If they see each other it would surely spark certain feelings, only time will tell and luckily some real-time H and C interaction soon…though it doesn't go as good as you think.

**Kcnikita:** I'm glad you like it, all will make sense in due time. In fact I already know how everything will turn out…and a possible sequel is in the works, depending on what everyone thinks.

**Lawdog:** Thank you so much. I hope you keep up the reading.

Love and Demand

About three days passed since her chat with Jake at the Palm Beach County Court where she interviewed. Cali was currently jogging along a trail by the Miami Beach, tomorrow was her birthday and she wasn't planning anything. 'I really hope no one is planning anything.' She thought as she slowed down to check her pulse. 'I don't feel up to a party.' She thought and looked around. Deciding to head home as the beach bums arrive, she started to head for her car, walking lightly to cool down. Even though she felt like not having a party, she wouldn't mind some friendly company of course.

Calleigh reached her car and got in, checked everything and started home. She was still looking for a job and was just living off unemployment checks. 'I'll go home and take a shower, and then I should call Natalia and Eric.' She thought as she drove. Getting back home, she walked in and took the shower like she planned. Finally sitting down, she took her cell phone out and left a voicemail with her two friends about getting together sometime. Cali then laid down and started to doze off.

Meanwhile, Natalia had just messed Cali's call and was listening to the message. "Eric." She called to the male and walked over while putting her cell in her lab coat pocket. "Did you happen to catch Cali's call?"

"No…" He said slowly and checked his phone, it seems he missed it.

"Well she seemed a bit better this week and thought we should all get together." Nat smiled.

"Isn't tomorrow her birthday?" Eric asked as he glanced around, looking for H in the vicinity.

"Yeah. She asked us not to do anything about it though."

"I still think we should…I mean if anyone needs a party, it's her." He told her and smiled.

"I think a good birthday present would be her and H patching things up."

"That's more of a miracle." Eric snorted and got a look for Nat. "I mean…who knows what'll happen. I mean I'm sure H knows what tomorrow is, maybe he'll do something nice."

"I think it's time we talk to him; we've held our tongue long enough." The DNA analyst said and started to go look for their boss.

"Nat wait…we need to think about this first." Eric jumped and pulled her back a bit. "We need to think about it and plan out what we're going to say, we'll talk to him tomorrow, okay?"

"Alright." She sighed and tugged her arm back and looked to her work place. "I guess we'll talk to Calleigh later." She said and went back to work.

Meanwhile the said woman was now awake and trying to regain her thoughts. 'I had the weirdest dream.' She thought. 'Horatio was in it…and...' She was having trouble recalling it now. 'Oh well, I can't believe he's pestering me in my sleep.' She thought and frowned as she went to continue to her writing.

* * *

Chapter Five

For some reason I can't even remember the names of the girls Horatio dated before Eric's sister came along. It was weird when he started dating because I somehow thought we had something. Not anything official but…I felt like we could become something. I thought maybe he was interested in me but the line between work and romance was a hard line to navigate so I held my tongue.

I think one of the girls was this defense attorney names Rebecca Nevins, she was pretty and I hate to admit, but they looked good together. And another girl he was with was killed by someone trying to frame Horatio. I don't recall her name but she was probably pretty too. I just assumed he didn't want to get involved with anyone he worked with because it might make trouble.

But then there's the fact that he was always pining after Yelina and the D.A he was with, so maybe he just really liked them. And not me. I didn't know. I guess I was just jealous. I mean when I was working with John, I always put Horatio's work first. I guess respect turned into admiration and that turned into affection. I'd still like to think that I loved him and that it wasn't something else.

* * *

Cali looked up and stared at the clock. 'I really can't do this right now.' She thought and got up. She started to order some pizza to eat. It was about the time when Eric and Natalia got off of work and she still hadn't gotten a reply.

Natalia and Eric were currently standing in the parking lot, trying to see how to approach Horatio tomorrow. "We need to be gentle about this…I mean he's going to say it's none of our business." Natalia said. "And when can tell him she is our friend and so it he, so it is our business."

"Yeah." Eric nodded. "We need to convince him that he needs to go find Cali and make things right."

"Yeah…I know but he probably won't listen to us."

"Well it was your choice…so we need to try. We need to help them out." Eric said. And so the next morning came and Eric and Natalia knocked on Horatio's office about an hour after work started.

"Come in." Horatio said as he looked up to see Natalia and Eric standing in his doorway. "Is everything alright?" He asked and they came in.

"Yeah H, just seeing how things are going." Eric said and sighed. Natalia looked around and saw that Horatio had a note from Yelina written in pink pen, it sort of creeped her out.

"Everything's going good." Horatio said.

"You don't miss anyone in particular?" Nat asked.

"No, can't say I do." H said lightly.

"Horatio, we are talking about Calleigh, don't you miss her?" Natalia asked and glared a bit.

"No."

"That is a lie." Eric said.

"No it is not, Eric."

"You should really patch things up with her; all of this is a silly misunderstanding." Natalia huffed. No movement from H. "Right?"

"I really don't know." Horatio stood up.

"See, if you don't know then why not talk to her? She needs your help finding a job." Eric explained.

"Why should I help her find a job when she quit this one?"

"It was your fault that you pushed her away." Eric said to him and stared at H.

"It was her fault for overreacting."

"Look, you both have some of the blame but you need to make a move…help her. I know you care about her so why are you resisting?" Natalia asked Horatio. "I know you don't want to just leave things like this."

"I don't think we should be talking about this."

"Why not? Stop avoiding this Horatio." Nat said as he moved around them to leave. "At least think about it."

"You say I don't think about her but I do." He turned to them. "I think about her all the time."

"Then act on it." Nat snapped and waved her hands. "You need each other but you're both too proud to move in the right direction." She told him and watched him walk out. Eric sighed and rubbed his neck.

"Well that went great."

"Eric, you didn't help at all." Nat sighed as they started to leave as well.

Meanwhile Cali woke up and ran a hand through her hair, the stress of being loveless and friendless and getting old and being unemployed was wearing her down. She knew she had Natalia and Ryan and Eric and everyone but she didn't feel like things weren't improving. Calleigh wasn't one to be depressed but she wasn't feeling so perky today. She didn't see any texts or missed calls and figured everyone was busy. Getting out of bed, she got dressed and decided that she didn't feel like going out, so she made some eggs at home and read the newspaper. 'I thought someone would call and wish me a happy birthday.' She thought as she was sipping her coffee.

A bit peeved, she sat back at her desk in her room and went to writing, to let time pass.

* * *

I mean a big reason I was jealous of the people he started dating was that we kissed once. Yes it's true. And no, neither of us was drunk.

It happened when we finished a case dealing with a murder at a resort and Ryan, Eric and I were handling it. In the end we came together to discuss and Horatio stepped in the clear things. We closed the case and I was heading home, Horatio caught up to me and asked if he could talk to me for a minute. I agreed and followed him outside. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to see if you're alright with me not heading the case today." He said, though I was fairly sure that wasn't what he wanted but I played along.

"Yes…sure, I thought it was strange but we can handle our selves without you." I smiled.

"I'm glad." He said.

"Well I better get home." I said, not really knowing what to do with silence.

"You did well." He smiled and leaned in and kissed me. At first I was happy but then confusion quickly followed. I mean…kissing me like that made me think it was some sort of reward for work. I mean was it a joke? Were we still just friends? I had no idea! And it was too late as he stepped back and waited for me to go. Words failed me as I looked away, not able to look at him. "Goodnight Cal."

"Night." I said faintly and gulped my heart racing. I can still remember the fluttery feeling I had when he kissed me. It was so sweet, and now I couldn't get him out my head!

I got home and the next day things were back to normal. It was really annoying. I didn't know how to bring it up and if I knew Eric's sister would come along and steal him, I would have just grabbed the man and kissed him as soon as possible! Unfortunately I didn't.

* * *

Sitting back and closing her eyes she just got up and went to do something else. 'Writing is making me feel sadder then happy.' She thought and went to go drive around the city to let time pass. And yet she still didn't hear anything from anyone. So much for a birthday.

That night Eric and Nat were leaving work as Eric stopped her. "You know this case with the twenty campers has been bogging me down. I feel like we're missing something." He said, talking about their current case.

"Hm well maybe we'll figure it out tomorrow." Nat said as they waved to Ryan. They didn't know that with work and life, they had forgotten about the one friend they were trying to help.

"Night." He said as they parted ways.

Back at her house, Cali was watching some old TV shows, curled on the couch, her daddy had called but she didn't feel like picking up. It was weird, she wanted to talk to him but she didn't at the same time. Her doorbell rang and she got up to answer it. "Hello?" She called and looked around, nothing was there. Well nothing until she looked down and saw a small card on her doorstep. She smiled and picked it up. All it said was 'happy birthday'. She wondered who sent it. She went inside and thought it could be Eric or Natalia. Maybe Tripp or Ryan. Her heart didn't want to believe that Horatio would give her it. She sat back down on the couch and sighed yet again, card in hand.

( A/n: A bit short, I'm not really happy with this chapter but tell me what you think please! I love you reviewers. XD And anyone who Roleplays….tell me. Thanks. )


	7. Chapter 7

( A/n: Late chapter because I wasn't sure I should continue it and I was busy graduating. So…I thought I'd get more reviews…guess not though. )

**CSIMiamiLuver:** I believe in this chapter. ^^ And he kissed her on the lips.

**Celkin:** They should end up together once more.

**Hellsmile:** Thanks.

Love and Demand

About a week after her birthday, summer was coming to the sunny state. Calleigh was still job hunting and hoping that other job was still going to work out for her. She was just going along her days, though they seemed to go by at a snail's pace. She had no idea who the card was from but she almost wanted to keep it a mystery. The thing about being a CSI is that you have to solve everything and at the moment she was too tired of it. At the moment she was waiting for the mail to come and in the meantime she decided to get back to her writing.

* * *

Chapter Six

Truth be told, I haven't been so eager to get back to this. After seeing all my mistakes, I really just crawled under a rock. It's not like I can travel back in time and pull him back to me. I guess I should finally address Marisol.

Marisol isn't that bad of a person, she is rather innocent I must admit. And I didn't see her as a threat at first. I never even thought other girls would be a threat to me. Maybe I just became jealous of anyone around Horatio. It's a childish thing I know, but I'm gonna own up to it. Eric always had a few things to say about her. Some good. Some bad. But they are family so I guess it's normal.

A few times I saw Eric and Marisol chatting. Eric had told me in private that she was very ill, so my southern heart went out to the girl. I then learned she was buying drugs, and even though it was to help people, my officer side couldn't really see past that. And what was even worse that she started to drag Horatio and Eric down with her history. I hope that never came off as judgmental. I wanted to stay out of that mess. I did have my own things to worry about after all.

Then it became more noticeable, Marisol kept clinging to Horatio for help and I knew he would be drawn to such a wallflower. I honestly hoped nothing would develop and I believe nothing did. Honestly? I don't think he loved her. I believe he married her to give her what she wanted. Like giving a child their dream, telling them a gentle white lie until they are old enough or strong enough to be on their own. Marisol wasn't going to last much longer it seemed and he made a choice.

Horatio was always so giving; he had a lot of love to give and sometimes not in the right places. In no way am I trying to say she didn't deserve a great man like Horatio, but I didn't approve of the relationship they had. It was almost insulting to have him "marry" someone and not love them they way everyone did. Or most people.

* * *

Calleigh looked up and out the window and walked out to check the mail. 'I don't resent Marisol do I? Am I such a bad person?' She thought as she walked down her driveway. After seeing no mail, Cal slouched her shoulders and walked back to her house. 'I...I don't know.' She thought and pouted her lips. She didn't want to hate anyone. 'Do I hate Horatio?' She wondered as she sat back at her desk in her room now.

I guess Horatio didn't notice my stares or my glances to him as he would attend to Marisol. I mean, I'll never know what he was really doing. Guess that's when Eric and I started to hang out more. We're friends. Nothing more, I assure you.

Suddenly her cell rang, she saw it was Jake. She sighed and answered it. "Hey."

"Hey Cal. I have some good news." He greeted.

"You do?" She asked and sat up a bit more, hopeful it had to do with something on a job.

"Yeah how about we meet for lunch tomorrow and I can fill you in?" He asked.

"Why can't you do it now?" She asked and frowned, 'Is he up to something?'

"Aw come on. You don't wanna see me?" He asked her.

"Fine, fine. I guess I need to be around people more." Cali laughed.

"Great meet me at Indian Elsa." He said.

"Noon alright?"

"Noon is perfect." Jake said and hung up. She did as well and tilted her head, curious as to what good news he might have up his sleeve. Cali then texted Natalia with the potential news, and yes Nat and Eric had apologized to her with dinner for not wishing her a happy birthday. Cali then got up and went to do some other things around the house that needed to be done. In the back of her mind, Jake and Horatio kept coming up though. Soon though, she was off to sleep not really bothering to go back to work. The next morning was different. Cali was up bright and early and was at her desk with some coffee and sugar of course.

* * *

Eric and I went out when Marisol came around. He was concerned to have his boss dating his sister and I was just concerned to have him dating someone so young. Eric could tell that there was some underlying reason for my worry so I finally told him my feelings. "I think I have feelings for him…that are deeper then any normal friendship." I said, and when I said it, I realized I sounded too scientific or something.

"How long has this…been going on?" He asked after a moment of thought.

"I don't know…it just came at me one day and…" I sighed and looked off at the restaurant around us. We had gone out to lunch and just had to get it off my chest.

"So you like him…more then you think you should?"

"I think…I mean I have no idea how he could feel about me…I mean we work together, we confide in each other…though there was that time he kissed me." I said, frantically trying to piece together any sort of train of thought I could muster.

"He kissed you?" Eric sat up now, his observant state now pushed aside. "When? Where? How?"

"Boy don't you sound like a real gossip." I smiled a bit.

"I need to know…to help you." Eric said and tried to sit back, he couldn't pull off aloof now.

"Okay well it was about a month ago…we had just finished a case and he took me aside outside and just kissed me. On the lips and I was so shocked I didn't do anything."

"Nothing? At all?"

"No." I said my heart dropping at the reiteration.

"Well you didn't pull away, though you didn't kiss back so…you sort of did the worst thing." He said.

"I know and now he's with her." I told him and sopped my drink, feeling sorry for my self.

"Yeah…my sister. It is weird." He said and sighed, it seemed we both didn't like the situation.

"Can we do anything?" I asked Eric.

"Well maybe you can go and say how you really feel…tell him how nuts it makes you feel to see him with Marisol." Eric insisted.

"How do I feel anyway?" I wondered. "And even so…I don't want to sound so selfish or annoying…I mean he's helping a woman who is sick."

"Yeah but…" Eric paused. H had too big of a heart sometimes. "Marisol doesn't need charity."

"What if he does love her?"

"Are you telling me you really think H loves my sister?" He asked me.

"Well…when they're together…he's more dotting like a father…and I don't see any love or chemistry when they are together…" I said thoughtfully. "But it's not like I want to march up to my boss and say: I don't think you love that woman, and I want it to be me." I muttered. "Or something…I wish Horatio would stop this. No offense." I said to Eric.

"Hey, I'm with you. I do want her to be happy but…it just isn't right." He sighed. "I think the love is one sided, Marisol might just admire him or something. But I think H is only with her to make her life happy." The rest of our meal we started to migrate to less heavy subjects and we went back to work and I let Eric do his thing while I went to my part of the lab. A while later Eric found me when it was almost time to go. "Hey Cali…" He said I and turned, it looked like Eric had been hit with a bucket of cold water and was in a sort of shock.

"Eric? Is something wrong?" I asked and walked over to him.

"He…and Marisol are engaged." He said slowly.

"He…and—what?" I laughed a bit, now finding it hard to breathe.

"They are getting married." He said more directly.

"No. Why would they do that? They don't need to do that. You're just playing a joke on me. I know it. You want this to make me go confess my love to him and look stupid right? Well it's not funny nor will it work, so stop it." I found my self babbling, as if I didn't want to believe what I knew what true.

"Cali." He said and put his hands on my shoulders to steady me. I then realized I was shaking, or something.

"No. He can't marry her. Not for…not for such a silly reason." I muttered and looked off, very much surprised that I was taking the news so terribly. I think Eric was too.

"You said you loved him." He pointed out.

"What?" I looked up and felt my heart was beating so fast, it would surely shatter now.

"Just now, you said 'go confess my love to him'" Eric said and I frowned, almost not realizing it.

"Love, it doesn't matter apparently." I said and moved to walked out, I needed to go home. F I was there I wouldn't have to see the happy couple. It was like an annoying ghost now and I felt so bad about it. As I started for my car, Horatio walked over with Marisol in his arms.

"Calleigh." He called but I just got to my car and realized my keys weren't with me. They were back at the lab with Eric. I sighed and breathed in deeply and turned to where H was with Marisol. "Are you okay?" He asked and I wondered if he was just toying with me now.

"Yes, of course I am." I lied and smiled to them, though I tried hard not to look at the gorgeous woman in his arms. "I'm just tried from working so much." I said, any other excuse had left me long ago.

"Well get some rest, I can't have my favorite CSI getting ill." He smiled and walked to the lab with his new lady. I guess that's how he saw me, just a CSI. Nothing more. I felt so damned stupid to think the kiss and my feelings meant more. I saw Eric come out with my things; he was such a good man. He'd make someone happy someday.

"Here." He said and I got my purse from him.

"Thanks." I said and glanced over his shoulder to see Horatio opening the door for his fiancé. "When did they um...say they would tie the knot?" I asked, though I didn't want to know.

"I think real soon in less then a week."

"Wow." I just said and got into my car and closed the door. That was really short notice, and I think was honestly thinking about confessing to him. Then again, I knew it was risky.

"Drive safe okay?" He smiled and looked to him, now trying to get stupid thoughts out of my head.

"Thanks Eric." I smiled and drove off.

* * *

Cali looked up and saw it was almost noon. 'Ack crap.' She thought and got up and went to get dressed and meet Jake for lunch. She was wearing a light blue top and jeans as she drove to Indian Elsa. 'I wonder what he wants.' She thought as she parked and walked in, though found her man easily and sat across from him. "So what's the news?" She asked with a grin.

"Well I think I have a good job that is willing to hire you." He smiled and leaned closer to her. "It's at the same place I saw you apply for but they took my letter of recommendation." He said.

"How?" She asked, smiling a bit.

"I called in some favors, they want to see you this Friday." He said.

"That is so wonderful. I owe you." Cali said, feeling a bit more at peace now that one problem was being solved.

"Don't mention it. I mean, we are friends." Jake laughed as he looked up and bit his lip. I Cal wondered what he was looking at so she turned and saw him. There he was, Horatio under the same roof as her.

"What is he doing here?" Cali muttered and looked down at her plate, not sure what to do.

"I don't know, go talk to him."

"No, I don't know what to say." She replied in a whisper. Horatio walked over to them before she could hide.

"Calleigh, Jake. It's nice to see you two going out again." He said curtly.

"Horatio, we're not going out." She said.

"Yeah we're just friends."

"Jake's been helping me find a job." Cali said. She most certainly didn't want their first encounter in over two months to be about Jake.

"How sweet of him." Horatio said, finding it funny that she quit and then went off with Jake for 'help.'

"It is, he's helping me. Unlike you." She stood up and glared.

"Why should I help someone who just left?"

"I didn't just leave." She glared.

"Yes you did." He said.

"Don't tell me these lies again." Calleigh said as Jake got up to intervene.

"What lies? You say you're just friends with Eric, John, Jake, Peter, but look at you." He said. He didn't really want to be fighting with Calleigh either but it just sort of came out at once.

"We are. I'm not seeing anyone, but I don't see why someone like you would concern your self with that sort of news." She said and folded her arms.

"Hey, stop bickering…" Jake said and moved in between them. "This isn't like either of you." He said.

"Yeah it's not like me...but it's his entire fault." Cali said and moved to walk out, suddenly not so hungry.

"Horatio, do something…you two need to stop fighting." Jake said as H just watched her go, a flicker of regret on his face.

"I know…"

"But now that it's done, surely you two can move on now?" He asked Horatio slowly, he wanted to help the two, like everyone else.

Meanwhile Cali was back at home making a ruckus in her kitchen trying to find something to eat. "Stupid Jake…I bet he planned this whole thing." She huffed as she got some chips finally. "And Horatio…he has some nerve." Cali then walked back to her desk to write away the anger.

* * *

Horatio even accused me and Eric of being a couple. A romantic couple. It was very much annoying because we never were like that. Here he says I'm with Eric, when I hardly want to see him Marisol. I don't even think Marisol could have lasted being Horatio's wife even if she wasn't sick and even if she wasn't shot at by the Mala Noche. Though her death was sad and premature, I think it was for the best, though it could have been handled better.

* * *

She looked up and huffed, too angry to think straight. She was so confused. "I'll write about Marisol and the aftermath later." She said and ate a chip, getting up to go watch some mind numbing tv.

( A'n: R and R please! I know it gets better as it moves on, so I need to know that people want to read more. It helps my motivation. Thanks guys. I keep wondering where my loyal reviewers went to. )


	8. Chapter 8

G-c: Another chapter guys, you're all so great keep it up and I will too! There is a lot in store for these two.

**CSIMiamiLuver:** Thank you. I keep wondering if Cali could really feel this way to Marisol…maybe I'm putting my self in her too much. Opps.

**LA Cali:** Thanks, I need all the support I can get and I like to know you are still interested.

**Celkin:** It's a secret my dear. I feel so evil right now haha.

**Hellsmile:** Alrighty.

Love and Demand

* * *

Chapter Seven

I don't really remember much of what happened when I heard about Marisol being shot. I knew she was in good hands…even if she didn't deserve his attention. I was with Eric when he found out about her death. My heart honestly went out to Eric and Horatio. Eric was a friend and he just lost a dear sister he would do anything for. As for Horatio, he lost someone he cared about. I guess. I'm not sure if he really put him self as a 'whole' into the relationship. I'd like to secretly believe that he didn't and that he wasn't too sad to see her pass.

Marisol was in pain from many things. I do wish I could have talked to her but I wouldn't know what would come out of my mouth if we were alone. She was battling cancer and a gang. In the end I wasn't sure why she was with that gang, and then Horatio and Eric got swept in it and left for Brazil. Just for her.

* * *

Calleigh looked to her cell as it had gone off, showing a text message from Natalia. She picked it up and replied as she looked back at some of her writing. The girl got up and looked around her house, it was bare, the way she felt right now. 'Well I guess inviting Natalia over wouldn't be so bad.' She thought as she sent another text message, inviting the female over. They could chat and catch up. And Cali had a feeling Eric and Natalia might be aware of the incident with Jake and her running into Horatio. 'Though I doubt Horatio would just say it happened, why would he care to tell them? I'm sure they've snooped enough.' She thought as she pushed her chair in slowly.

Cali's house was neat for the most part, but to her it just seemed so lifeless. She was going to go look at the job offer Jake had helped get her tomorrow, Friday. Calleigh still had to think of what to wear. 'Maybe Nat can help.' She thought and got a reply from Nat saying she'd love to come over for a drink. 'Good…I need to talk to someone.' She thought as she went into the kitchen to see if she even had anything for them to drink.

Soon the doorbell rang and Cali walked from the kitchen where she was standing to the door and opened it. "Nat, hi." She smiled, brightening up at a friendly face.

"Hey there cali." Natalia replied and walked in, her handbag slinging off of her shoulder. Nat set her beg down by the door. "It's so hot out there." She laughed. "And you're cooped up in your cool house, smart girl."

"Haha thanks…" Cali said and glanced off as she sat on the couch and Nat joined her. "So…how's the lab? How are Eric and…everyone doing?" Might as well get it out of the way.

"Oh the lab's fine. Eric is fine….everyone is…fine." Nat said slowly and watched for emotion from her friend.

"That's good. Should I get us some wine?" Cali asked as she stood up, the name of Horatio echoing in her head. 'I don't need to know how he is. I don't.' She told her self.

"Sure need help?"

"No I got it." The blond waved a happy hand, got up and walked back into the kitchen. She reopened a red wine and poured it. Cali put the cork back on and walked back with two glasses of wine. "Here you go."

"Thanks." She said and sipped it as Cali took her place once again and moved the glass in a circular motion to stir it. "How is the um writing?"

"It's okay…it's depressing me a bit but it's nothing to worry about. I just need to get it all out of my system." Cal said.

"Okay, will you let me read any of it?"

"No, not yet. Why?"

"I'm just asking." Natalia shrugged as she set her glass down. Cali had a feeling Natalia had some other reason for seeing her. And Natalia had a feeling Cali was getting suspicious of her. "So…Eric and I worried about you."

"I knew it was coming, I'm fine really."

"But you just said the writing is depressing you, take a break, go on vacation."

"No, I have a possible job thanks to Jake…not Horatio." Cali said.

"Calleigh…"

"Is it a crime now to be upset after such a hard 'falling out' with someone I love…d?" She asked as Nat watched her.

"You still have feelings for H, don't feel bad." Nat assured her firmly, very glad to see some sign of progress.

"No, there's something wrong with me if I still care about him." Cali said and held up her hands and went to pick up her drink to quench her sudden thirst.

"No. It's love." She grinned.

"Don't push it Nat." Cali said.

"Well anyway I should let you be." She stood up and Cali just watched her. "take care of your self. I'll see you later."

"Nat stop sounding like a mother." She said.

"Sorry sorry." Nat smiled and picked up her bag, Cali set her wine glass down and walked over to her. They exchanged a hug and Cali let her go. "Bye."

"Bye." Calleigh smiled as Nat walked out and Cali closed and locked the door. Why was she suddenly having odd feelings? 'It's not because I said I loved Horatio? Loved, meaning no longer…' She tried to tell her self as she walked to her room and stared at her desk. 'Maybe I should take a break from all this writing. I'm never going to be J.K Rowling.' She thought with a weary smile and leaned on the door frame. Without the lab everything felt so insignificant.

* * *

Maybe I shouldn't be writing about this but if I don't I might really go insane. So Eric went off to Brazil with the head of the lab, I'm sure it wasn't legal. I knew their intentions; Eric gave enough vague information for me to get an idea. But before they left I sort of had a skirmish with Horatio. Of course, right? Well it was before he and Marisol got married but that was close to when they left. I handed H the bottle of wine we all chipped in to buy, I did my best not to cry. It felt like I was giving him away to Marisol. Something a father would do to his dear daughter.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" I asked, trying to act as if I was joking. I wasn't though.

"Of course I do." He smiled at me, though possibly searching as to why a friend would ask.

"Good…" I said, though it came off rather empty.

"Is something wrong?" He asked and kept his eyes on me, not seeming to care about anything else around him. God it drove me insane.

"Look…I just don't think you should marry her—"

"Cali—"

"Look, let me get this out." I said and breathed in deeply. "I don't see any love in what you two have." I finally said it. Did I regret it? I saw he recoiled back but I couldn't read his face.

"She's sick." He said. That wasn't an answer that was a damn fact.

"So? You can't go around marrying every sick girl you see." I said, not noticing I was raising my voice bit by bit, losing my inner control. "Marriage is love. And so many people disregard that…but I wouldn't think you would." I said.

"Calleigh." He said again but I hardly heard that.

"Why is she the exception? Why would you marry her to make her happy? You didn't have to marry her to make her happy did you? Why her? I want to know." I demanded.

"Calleigh, I have a wedding to go to." He just told me and his eyes had a look that showed he was almost disappointed with me. It broke my heart, what little was intact anyway.

"Answer me…" I said, not wanting to let this go. Not wanting to let him go, my eyes watering as my voice reached out to him, pained. "Horatio…"

"Cali. I'm sorry." He said and left. I clenched my jaw and turned, I wasn't going. I had a lot of other things to do and they didn't involve him. If he didn't value marriage then he surely wasn't marriage material. I still couldn't believe him. He was sorry? I went inside and saw Eric had gone. Now I was really left alone and maybe I got there my self…

So we weren't on good terms when the boys left. And then something even worse happened. It could have been a damn omen for crying out loud. I nearly drowned.

* * *

Meanwhile as Cali was writing, Eric and Nat were sitting in a local diner, chatting and eating a late dinner. "So she still loves him?" Eric asked, leaned forward with interest at this news. Not that it was new, but it was a step in the right direction.

"Yeah and you know they're too damn stubborn to just say it already and move on." She sighed as she poked her fries with a fork.

"I know. They are made for each other." He sighed as he sipped his milk shake. "You got a plan?" He asked eyes on her.

"Nope…" Nat sighed and looked around. "You do realize we look like a couple." She smiled.

"Don't." Eric laughed. "We don't need drama like H and Cali." He said.

"One relationship at a time?" She grinned as she picked up a fry and at it. Eric just smiled and went back to his ribs.

"You two going out now?" Someone asked and they looked and saw Jake. How odd.

"No…" Eric muttered slowly as he watched Nat. "What are you doing here?"

"Um to eat, why else would I come into a diner?" Jake laughed.

"Right." Eric said, feeling a bit stupid.

"So did H tell you what happened two days ago?" He asked.

"What?" Natalia asked, now watching the undercover cop.

"I took Cali out to lunch—as friends…and H came in and…" Jake trailed off, sure that he didn't have to say anything else.

"Oh great." Eric muttered. "This makes things worse."

"How so?" Jake asked.

"Well I'm sure they aren't happy with each other now, it's sort of a step in the wrong direction."

"Well maybe they got out everything and can move on. I'm hoping anyway." Jake smiled to Eric.

"Why? Didn't you have a fling with her?"

"It was more then that, you know." Jake said acting hurt. "But I really think H would be good for her…and they both have feelings. Why would I stand in their way? I want to help." He said.

"Well we should just band together." Nat sighed, maybe having more heads to think would help in the end. Meanwhile Cali was still writing and she hadn't eaten dinner yet.

* * *

I didn't know how the boys were and I felt bad for not talking to H after what I said. I needed to fix things. And that day, I was busy with a case. Some guy had fallen out of a high hotel building. I had just finished gathering all the evidence since I was head of the lab temporarily due to my seniority. Maybe I wished H had told the higher ups that I would be a good candidate for it. Then again Eric might have been the head of the lab but he was gone too so maybe I was the last choice. But I hate doubts, so back to the story…

I was taking a route that isn't normally used and I was chatting to Wolfe as I drove, telling him I'd be at the lab in about fifteen minutes and there was a bang and I dropped my phone to take the steering wheel. I tried to regain control of the large vehicle but I spun out into the lake by me. Of course there's a lake right where I am. I'm still not sure if running into a tree would have been better then falling into water. Either way I don't want to find out.

I had to pick, me or the evidence. And I also had to get out alive either way! There was no way in hell that I was going to become a victim. I got out just in time, though I was a bit shaken up. Anyone would be. Death scares me and I'm a CSI. I made it to the redge of the lake and sat on the side of the road, not knowing what to do. Everything was gone. Evidence, personal items, my cell phone, evidence, the car, did I mention the evidence?

All I had was my gun with me. I think. I tried my best to block that lovely event out of my head. The thing I remember was, "Cali…Cali…Cali?" Horatio was calling to me. I turned and looked to him, my lips pale and my whole body shaking from the aftermath.

"It's gone…the ev-evidence." I muttered, I was a bad a CSI and to think I was put in charge of the lab too. I must be a disgrace. I looked to him, rather solem.

"That's not important right now." He said softly and knelt by me.

"But the evidence…it's compromised."

"Everything but you ma'am." He smiled at me and helped me up as Eric and the others started to arrive. He led me to his car and helped me into the passenger seat. I somehow had a blanket around me and his black blazer. I blinked and looked ahead as he just got into the drivers seat.

So many things were running through my head, like how the trip went for him, if he was angry with me, if he was disappointed in me, if he and Eric talked about me, what happened to the case I was working on. I felt like I was going to hurl.

"Cali, do you want me to take you home?" He asked, though it wasn't enough to snap me from the thousands of worries that were now drowning me. He reached out and moved closer to place a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and looked to him, gulping.

"I'm sorry. I really am." I told him.

"It's okay." He just said and smiled, his warm hand rubbing my shoulder, soothing me. And even though I had about two or three layers on I could still feel it. After he had said it was okay, I felt like everything between us was better. Like everything was forgiven. Marisol was gone and maybe I still had a chance with the man who captured my attention all the time.

* * *

She blinked a few times, heart racing once again. 'Geesh, thinking about him like this…' She thought and frowned, realizing she was hungry and it was 11 at night. Cali's heart was starting to melt, and maybe she would be better when talking to Horatio if she saw him again. She didn't know. All she knew was, she was hungry and needed to pick out something for tomorrow's event.

( I will write more soon I hope. I hope ya'll like it and hope you guys review and that you haven't give up. :3 )


	9. Chapter 9

( Thanks for the reviews you guys. For those who read but didn't review, I'd love to hear from you. I know you're out there! XD Anyway I hope you like this and tell me what ya think! Also just a warning, the novel part of this jumps ahead a lot more then usual. Sorry. *feels bad* )

**Celkin:** It is, I fell so bad for her. I really did wish they did more with the Hummer Scene with H just showing up like an angel. ^^ Who knows what can help these two? Besides me…lol

**LA Cali:** Thank you very much! It's like one big mission!

**Csimiami-newyork:** I'm glad to see new reviewers. I think NY is okay but Miami just holds a better place in my heart, hope you enjoy nonetheless.

**CSIMiamiBabe:** Thank you thank you! ^^

**CSIMiamiLuver:** You might be right? Haha. Glad you're still liking it.

Love and Demand

Friday morning arose and Cali got out of bed, she had some nervous thoughts inside of her but she had to bring her 'A Game' today, as they say. Calleigh got dressed in a nice pinstrip suit with a skirt and blazer. She kept her hair down because she thought it aged her a bit too much if it was up. She didn't drink any coffee in the morning, only went to her car and silently thanked Jake. It seemed he was the only one looking out for her.

As it turned out, the job at the law firm in Palm Beach County was working out well for her. Sure, she wasn't making as much of a difference as she liked, but she knew it was something. And something is better then nothing. As she started working there, she started to miss the lab more and more. And became less her self.

It had been about a week since she started the job and Nat and Eric seemed happy for her but the more she worked, the less happy she was becoming. Calleigh sat at her desk, it was a Saturday night and she had nothing to do. Natalia was busy with Eric or something. And she surely wasn't going to call Jake to hang out, that was dangerous. As a matter of fact, she was really unsure if she should be around him. Horatio had seen then together once and if they somehow ran into him again, that would make things look even more suspicious.

'Is it strange for me to care if Horatio thinks I'm with Jake?' Cali found her self wondering as she stared at her desk. She had no idea what to write. She just missed her friends and she missed how things used to be. Before Marisol, before Tim dying, before Hagen dying, before everything was ever complicated. Picking up her pen she began to write…

* * *

Chapter Eight

After the whole 'drowning' ordeal, Horatio took over the lab again and things started to get back to normal. Whatever normal was. That's when Jake and I started to date. I mean I guess at my weakest time, I finally realized that if I waited for Horatio, I would probably die alone. And Jake was there right in front of me and he wanted me. What else could I do? We started dating, and trust me, we had chemistry. Jake was a real sweet guy, I did care for him. I still do...

Looking back I think we both knew that this was just something to distract me from Horatio. Jake did mention that Horatio was a bit curter to him after we started dating but maybe Jake was just lying to make me feel wanted for once by the one man who I deemed unobtainable.

It's funny; I'm putting Horatio Caine on a pedestal when he has so many flaws, so many dark marks from his past. It doesn't matter though. Flaws make someone who they are.

Jake and I weren't that serious about one another, though I have a feeling he might think differently. I feel bad for it. It's not something I like to talk about. I'm just glad we're still friends because he isn't that bad, after all I owe him for this job. But looking back, was I using him?

* * *

Calleigh glanced up at the clock, she saw about twenty minutes had passed, and she sighed and looked back down at what all she had written. 'Is that what people have become? Living organisms that go day to day owing people things…if it worked like that, Horatio would owe me a lot for messing with my head.' She thought.

* * *

Jake and I are friends now, just like me and Eric. I mean, Horatio had a lot of chances to talk to me about that kiss or just ask me out. I mean when I started dating Jake, Horatio and I were practically strangers. We didn't go out for drinks anymore, we were hardly working on the same case, we didn't do anything together like we used to. Maybe it had something to do with Marisol. Maybe I just want to blame her for everything. I don't know. I don't think I'm such a good person; everything I've written is one big 'pity party'. Maybe Horatio and I aren't together because it's not meant to be. Maybe I really don't deserve him. Did I do this to my self?

Is he really meant to be alone? I guess he moved on now, from what I've heard. And just because we're not a match doesn't mean that he will be single. I see we're not meant for each other. It was stupid for me to think that if I waited and prayed that we'd fall in love. Work got in the way, and so did other personal issues I guess.

I guess another big shock to me was finding out Horatio used to have a serious girlfriend named Julia. Or whatever she likes to be called nowadays. She knew him as John. Talk about newsflash! I heard all of this from Yelina no less, talk about harsh. I mean he should have told me instead of me finding out through another one of his ladies in waiting. And not only was Horatio seeing this Julia, but they had a son! A son! What the hell!? I mean…that's not even fair. Her and him...

For me to begin to conceive that he was with her and…and had a child. Oh it gives me the creeps! I still don't see how Julia and Yelina and Marisol managed to catch his eye and yet I don't! I mean am I sounding bitchy? I just don't see why he would go to them and not me. That was just a low blow for me to receive. I feel like I'm just complaining now and making my self seem like a victim.

But he kissed me first! So…he started it.

Now that sounded real mature. I guess this means I should just take a break.

* * *

She then got up from her desk and laid down. 'What is going on with me?' She wondered, her hands behind her head. She closed her eyes and wondered what time it was, she didn't care though. She hardly cared anymore. Normally she would be ecstatic about having a job finally but now she seemed to sink further into lonely thoughts.

Later that night, around eight the phone rang. Cali stared at the ceiling, feeling out of it so she let it go through to the answering machine.

"Hello? Calleigh Duqusene?" Someone asked. "This is Peter Gibson, from Sunnyland Publishing, I heard through some sources that you're writing a novel and I would be very interested to hear about your days as a CSI. I'll try back tomorrow night but my number is…" She stopped listening after that and rolled onto her side.

'So I guess my life is just something for people to buy and read now?' She thought and closed her eyes. Things were now darker with her perspective. The next day came and went. It was late winter so it was almost a year since she left the MDCL. Peter Gibson had called back the next night like he said he would but Calleigh just let it go to the message machine again. She was just working, she didn't feel much. To her nothing was really worth living for. Jake saw she was in a bad state and knew he had to intervene.

"Cali." He said as he walked over to her as she was heading to lunch.

"Mmm?" She looked to him as he started walking with her down the street.

"You want any company?" He asked.

"No thank you." She said, trying to be as cheery as she could.

"Calleigh, come on, you can't fool me." He said and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Just leave me alone." She shrugged his hand off; the first thing that came to her mind was Horatio. He backed up a bit, concerned.

"I can't, not when you're distressed."

"Jake, just leave me alone. I want to be alone. Its how I'm supposed to be okay?" She said and started to walk off, folding her arms close to her. He sighed and leaned on a light pole.

'This isn't good. I should go check in with Natalia and Eric.' He thought and got out his cell phone, and called Natalia. She soon picked up and he smiled. "Hey Natalia, it's me Jake."

"Yeah is something up?" She asked, still a bit weary of him.

"It's about Cali, I think she's becoming depressed. Can you talk to her?" Jake asked.

"Sure." She nodded a bit, if Jake was seriously concerned, then something had to be up. So Nat hung up and moved to the staff lounge and called Cali. It was lunch time and Nat figured she would talk to Eric and Ryan later about this.

"Hello?" The blond answered as she was wandering.

"Hey Cali."

"Oh hi Nat." She greeted, "Did Jake talk to you or something…?" She asked. 'I don't need this right now.' She thought.

"Yeah he did. He said you were pretty down about something, care to tell me why?"

"Are you my mother all of a sudden?" Cali said rather uncharacteristically.

"No. You're friend." Natalia said. 'Cali does seem more depressed and withdrawn.' Nat thought, frowning. "Talk to me…please."

"You're not really my friend." Calleigh sighed.

"What do you mean?" Nat asked, puzzled.

"You're just someone I know who works at some crime lab that killed me." She said and hung up. Cali felt like things were going downhill for her instead of being her usual bright and optimist self. And someone had to get through to her and fast.

( G-c: Sorry that she is WAY out of character but she's not in a great mental state right now…what will happen?!? Dun dun dun…All you can do is Review. Expect to see my other H/C story and my drabbles updated by Sunday. Love you guys, sorry for the short lame ness. )


	10. Chapter 10

Genkai-chan: I am really sad with only three reviews so…if I keep getting low support I can just focus on other things. ^^; I do love this story and have plans for more of it but I want to know that people are reading it and I'll only know that if people review and encourage me. I keep saying this because it's true, I'd love more support out there! I'm happy with the two consistent people; you know who you are hehe. So please show me some love!

**LA Cal:** Thank you very much; I hope it wasn't too over the top.

**CSIMiamiLuver:** That isn't a bad idea, who knows. XD

**Brokenandlonely:** Thank you. I hope you like this one.

Disclaimer: Not mine….urgh.

Love and Demand

After the abrupt spat with Natalia, Cali wasn't sure what to think. She felt so distanced from everyone even though it might not really be that way. She was now sitting at home and curled up on her couch. She didn't feel like writing, she didn't feel like eating, she didn't feel like doing anything. She felt rather depressed and nothing was getting any better, and the thoughts buried deep inside of her head were not assisting in taking off internal pressure. She stayed in a light slumber until the next day came; she was awoken with a knock at her door. She got up and looked at her phone. It was about nine in the morning. Calleigh felt so out of sorts so she didn't bother to look at herself before opening the door.

She came face to face with Rick Stetler. "Rick? What are you doing here?" Cali asked him.

"I've come to ask you to return to the lab." He said and she bit her lip, very startled by his blunt request.

"Rick…I can't. I can't go back there." She said after a moment of puzzlement. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, he knew she would react this way but he couldn't afford to beat around the bush.

"Calleigh, please just listen to me." He said softly. He wasn't one to reach out to people unless it was really important. The lab wasn't running as smoothly since she left. It had been five months since her departure. It was early fall and Rick was in desperate need of someone who was competent with firearms. "The lab isn't functioning as it used to. Horatio will hardly talk to anyone, Boa Vista and Delko can't hold everything together. As for Wolfe, he's hardly around and new people can't do what you all once did as the team you used to be."

"As flattering as it is…" She started to say and folded her arms.

"It's not meant to be flattery Duqusene." He said. "It's the truth and I need you back nn the team."

"I have a new job now." She said firmly. 'Why should I drop everything just because the team needs me all of a sudden?' She thought.

"Well at least consider it. I'll give you a raise." He said. He could call in some favors if it would mean having the usual team out on the Miami streets again. How she was standing it seemed like she was set on declining his offer. "Have a nice day, call me anytime." He said and left for his car. Cal shut the door and sighed. Did she want to go back? She started to second guess herself and the motives behind why they wanted her back. She just decided to go and get something in her tummy and maybe try and write some more. It just might help her decision making. After a plate of toast and scrambled eggs, she was sitting at her desk, ready to try.

* * *

Chapter Nine

A lot of new information got piled on me within my last few months work at MDPD. Alexx left. She was like a mother to me. She was a mother to the whole team. She and I helped get Ryan acquainted with the team. She helped us with Speedle's death and she was so kind. She never lost her temper and she knew what was best for us. She was pretty much the mother I always wanted. But she left when her son got caught in a risky case. I didn't blame her for making the choice she made. I understood her concern as a mother. She is missed though and no one has been able to replace that.

On top of my stress, Julia and Kyle were in Horatio's life a lot more. And I was in it a lot less. I mean I felt like we were practical strangers now. What's up with that?

* * *

She looked up from her work and rubbed her head; she looked at her phone and picked it up. She then set it down. 'I'm not calling Rick.' She thought to herself and shook her head.

* * *

And I think the worst I ever felt was because of my job.

* * *

Suddenly there was a ring from her phone. She let out an angry sigh and picked it up, "What?" She snapped, at her wits end.

"Excuse me are you Calleigh Duquesne?"

"Yes, who's asking?"

"I'm doctor Rogers; your father is in the hospital."

"What?" She blinked and sat up, now fully interested.

"He's in surgery right now but you can come over and see him within an hour." He said to her.

"Yes thank you, I will." Cali said. Her heart was racing, she didn't know what happened but she would definitely go down. She then hung up after getting some other medical information. Cali got up and looked around, her mind already weak and frazzled. She clearly couldn't take much more. She got her keys and hurried to her car and started for Dade Memorial. 'This is how I felt…when he got shot.' She thought and rubbed her eye at a stop light.

Cali was a wreck and when she got to the hospital she was in a bit of a shock. A nurse helped her sit down and gave her an IV to relax. Cali breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. Over the past few months her life had been on a huge roller coaster. She couldn't lose her father too. Soon she woke up, not knowing she had dozed off. "Excuse me?" She asked a nurse. "Where is my father? Is he alright?"

"He is, you can see him now." She said and Cali got up and went into his room.

"Daddy?" She asked and slowly walked over to the man lying on the bed; she held her breath and saw he was sleeping. Cal just sat down in a chair and sighed deeply. She then took out some paper from her purse and started to write.

* * *

Being in the hospital makes me think of when Horatio got shot a while ago. I remember getting a call out with Eric. It was at a small airport. I head Horatio was trying to get Julia and Kyle somewhere safe and…and that Horatio had been shot. It didn't hit me, but I got to the scene and saw Ryan. And when he told me H was dead. I think my world ended.

Tears came to my eyes and Eric held me as it sunk in. Horatio couldn't die, he couldn't. There had been so much I wanted to say to him. So many things I wanted to do with him. I honestly felt ready to die right there. He was shot and his body was gone, I'm sure if I saw it, I wouldn't want to leave him alone.

* * *

She looked up once a hand touched her head affectionately. "Hm?"

"Lambchop?"

"Dad…how are you feeling?" She asked softly.

"I'm alright…I can't feel much to tell you the truth." He laughed. A doctor soon entered who she assumed was Rogers.

"He was in a car crash and he had some surgery done on his chest, he should rest here for a few days." He soon left them alone and Cali kissed her father's head.

"I'm so glad you're alright." She said and held his hand as she shut her eyes, holding back tears. The past had to stop hurting her future.

( Not much, but more to come next chapter, sorry for the long wait. Tell me what you think. )


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